There has been a lot of bus-stop conversation over the last week about what we are telling our children today. I still wish I knew.
The boys are having a day to talk about our friends in the military, and how people are helping to keep us safe. This seems innocuous enough for 5 year olds, as long as they don't ask me what they are keeping us safe from.
I have no idea what my 4th grader will learn today. I just hope I don't have to talk about it with her, but I cannot come up with something coherent to talk about.
It is not that I wish to dishonor those who gave their lives in such a tragic event, and all of those who have worked tirelessly over the last 5 long years to improve my safety by not talking about it and them. We live within 30 miles of Washington, and we are acutely aware of terror levels, low-flying planes, and evacuation routes. The parents, are, anyway; my children still point at the planes with wonderment.
I just don't know how to explain it to them. How can you talk to your children about something that your own heart cannot wrap itself around - that people can be so evil and unfeeling as to twist their beliefs and make it ok to take another life?
I have read all of the parenting articles that explain what to say about war, and terror, and the unexplainable. I used to think that a firm "we are your parents and we'll keep you safe" was enough. In a pinch, "God will protect you" would seal the deal. Even a pithy "Everything happens for a reason" could satisfy them. But after all that has and continues to happen, I'm not sure I believe those answers anymore, and I can no longer confidently spout them at my children.
The kids were all under 4 when things changed; they have never seen the towers, not even on the news. We turn the channel when commercials advertising the tributes are played, the seemingly countless TV movies that are shown. I'm not naive enough to think that Katie doesn't know anything - girls and teachers talk, and this is a lesson that she's likely had in school. The boys, however, are still blissfully ignorant - New York is only the place where Aunt J lives.
In watching the Jules and Gedeon Naudet documentary again last night, one of the fireman made a statement that sums it up for me - something to the effect that he had no idea how evil evil could be.
My children are still loving and kind - their idea of a horrible event is when one won't let the other go first on the swing. Even my 4th grader doesn't truly understand heartbreak and loss, and I'm not eager to dispel their feeling that the world is generally a good and safe place for them to be. Call me unpatriotic and unfeeling for those families, but I want them to know a Norman Rockwell childhood. There is time yet for them to understand evil, hatred, and senseless acts.
So today, I will find a mass, and light a candle, and the kids and I will say an extra prayer for the freedoms we enjoy and the protection of all those fighting at war. And I will quietly pray that my children never have to explain how hatred can consume people and bring such destruction.
Monday
Wednesday
Hair of the Dog
So I'm back again.
Did you know that many bloggers leave notes stating that they're off to work on some fabulous something, and that they'll be back later? That they don't leave their 6 readers hanging? My apologies, y'all, I've been incredibly rude, just disappearing and all. Next time, a note. And a list of wonderful projects that I'll procrastinate on while I'm gone.
I'd love nothing more than to provide you a list of what I've gotten done lately, but it would be not very interesting. Long, perhaps, but unless you're an anxious parent waiting for a Girl Scout troop or some other piece of paperwork that I happen to be holding, not interesting. The rest of the list is work stuff, which, well, I think we all know what happens to people who write about their jobs, right? So none of that either.
So anyway.
My house is currently suffering a bit from the post-summer hangover, which is not, contrary to popular opinion, cured by school. Even for me, and I am a lover of all things school, aside from cafeteria food.
All three kiddos are back in class, thank goodness - Will & Finn have started Kindergarten, and Will's sporting a loose tooth, much to Finn's great distress. Katie has already forgotten to bring home an assignment to complete, possibly breaking all previous records, since it's only Day 2. We've already marked off almost all of the mandatory school items: the sick child pediatrician visit (Katie), the discussion as to why we do not discuss penises with our teacher (Finn), and the forgotten book order (Will). I expect "loose glasses" to occur around Day 4, which should cover us until mittens and hats make an appearance.
My own personal summer hangover is becoming a bit more of a life hangover - now that I'm supposed to have all of this time on my hands, what on earth do I do with it? I'm feeling a little suffocated, honestly, like I need some air and a good stiff drink to send me on my way.
Volunteering for more things at school is not an option (particularly with no snack basket), and while I'm really pretty good at my job, it's not something I love to do. (Contrary to popular belief, I do not crave the ability to boss other people around and create schedules that I force them to follow. Seriously.) I have started going to the gym, but that is far more the need to look nice in my sister's wedding pictures than for any enjoyment. I need something else. More Summer in my Fall, perhaps.
I read somewhere that when you're not sure what you're doing, just fake it. Eventually you'll figure it out, and no one around you will be the wiser, since you've been doing it all along. This is frightening advice to someone who hates to try anything without the guarantee of perfection, but I think that's going to be the cure around here. I'm going to indulge my pathological need for paper and fabric, pretend that I know what to do with them, and start making things. Maybe spend a little time looking at other people's art, but more time making my own. Maybe relax the rules a little bit, and accept that things don't always have to look exactly like the picture. Never fear, I'll be foisting the creations off on some of you soon. Share the wealth and all.
Fall has always felt a little more like time for a new year than January for me - new season, new school, new things to learn. Maybe this time, the kids shouldn't be the only ones making supply lists.
I am amending this, later, to add that apaprently Day 2 has also given us our first case of pinkeye. Bring it on, Day 3, because I am now armed with antibiotics and some q-tips. Bring it on.
Did you know that many bloggers leave notes stating that they're off to work on some fabulous something, and that they'll be back later? That they don't leave their 6 readers hanging? My apologies, y'all, I've been incredibly rude, just disappearing and all. Next time, a note. And a list of wonderful projects that I'll procrastinate on while I'm gone.
I'd love nothing more than to provide you a list of what I've gotten done lately, but it would be not very interesting. Long, perhaps, but unless you're an anxious parent waiting for a Girl Scout troop or some other piece of paperwork that I happen to be holding, not interesting. The rest of the list is work stuff, which, well, I think we all know what happens to people who write about their jobs, right? So none of that either.
So anyway.
My house is currently suffering a bit from the post-summer hangover, which is not, contrary to popular opinion, cured by school. Even for me, and I am a lover of all things school, aside from cafeteria food.
All three kiddos are back in class, thank goodness - Will & Finn have started Kindergarten, and Will's sporting a loose tooth, much to Finn's great distress. Katie has already forgotten to bring home an assignment to complete, possibly breaking all previous records, since it's only Day 2. We've already marked off almost all of the mandatory school items: the sick child pediatrician visit (Katie), the discussion as to why we do not discuss penises with our teacher (Finn), and the forgotten book order (Will). I expect "loose glasses" to occur around Day 4, which should cover us until mittens and hats make an appearance.
My own personal summer hangover is becoming a bit more of a life hangover - now that I'm supposed to have all of this time on my hands, what on earth do I do with it? I'm feeling a little suffocated, honestly, like I need some air and a good stiff drink to send me on my way.
Volunteering for more things at school is not an option (particularly with no snack basket), and while I'm really pretty good at my job, it's not something I love to do. (Contrary to popular belief, I do not crave the ability to boss other people around and create schedules that I force them to follow. Seriously.) I have started going to the gym, but that is far more the need to look nice in my sister's wedding pictures than for any enjoyment. I need something else. More Summer in my Fall, perhaps.
I read somewhere that when you're not sure what you're doing, just fake it. Eventually you'll figure it out, and no one around you will be the wiser, since you've been doing it all along. This is frightening advice to someone who hates to try anything without the guarantee of perfection, but I think that's going to be the cure around here. I'm going to indulge my pathological need for paper and fabric, pretend that I know what to do with them, and start making things. Maybe spend a little time looking at other people's art, but more time making my own. Maybe relax the rules a little bit, and accept that things don't always have to look exactly like the picture. Never fear, I'll be foisting the creations off on some of you soon. Share the wealth and all.
Fall has always felt a little more like time for a new year than January for me - new season, new school, new things to learn. Maybe this time, the kids shouldn't be the only ones making supply lists.
I am amending this, later, to add that apaprently Day 2 has also given us our first case of pinkeye. Bring it on, Day 3, because I am now armed with antibiotics and some q-tips. Bring it on.
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