You'll have to come up with your own title.

Has it really been a whole month? Unbelievable, but let me tell you, there have been precious few things for me to blog about with involving the phrase "I know I'm whining, but". And I can't force y'all to listen to my whining. I'm not 8, so I assure you, I know I should have grown out of it by now.

So let's recap my month. Three things should do it.

Item One -
At an age substantially older than 8, I am diagnosed with food allergies - specifically peanuts and tree nuts. Since I'm pretty sure I didn't even try a sandwich other than PB&J until college, I'm pretty surprised by this. And am here to tell you that this is a colossal pain in my rear, adding at least 30 minutes to an already painful grocery store run while I read every last label in sight. Not mention the sheer torture of not being able to eat a single piece of my children's Halloween candy.

I will also tell you that if you're having an allergy test run, having the nurse come in halfway through and say "OH NO!" is never, ever a good sign. Aside from the nuts, I am allergic to everything they tested for, aside from seafood, which is the actual reason I made the stupid appointment. I am the Bubble Mom, and buying a historic house was pretty much the worst mistake ever. I do, however, have an excuse for not dusting - I'm allergic to the dust too.

Item Two -
My motherhood competitiveness has reached a new low. We have apparently reached the stage in her class where boys are asking girls "out." It is only out in a figurative sense, they go nowhere, but they're asking. And I'm freaking out, because good grief, she's like 3, and I am so not ready for this. But in the midst of the freaking out, I'm like "Why on earth are they not asking my child out? Is she not the cutest thing you have ever seen? And the funniest?"

Repeat after me: I will not project my middle school horrors onto my child.

Item Three -
I survived what had to be the most ambitious field trip ever conducted. I did not cry, I barely whined, and I only prayed to be beamed out of the field trip twice. Field trips should only be 1 day, not 7. They should not involve questionable hotels, children rooming without their parents, and difficulty obtaining alcohol or food not served on a plastic tray. But I get to go again in 4 years, this time as a care-free mother of boys, not a neurotic mother of a girl.

Item Four -
I am not meant to be an athlete. I think it's clear that the number of ankle braces, crutches, and surgical scars confirm it. But I will have to tell you that my hate of all things exercise is fading, and I actually look forward to it. I don't love it, but it's coming, they tell me. I still refuse to buy a workout ensemble for each day, and velour tracksuits just don't do it for me. I'm hippy enough as it is, purposely dressing as an easter egg is not going to be a flattering look.

I think that covers the month. I still have not finished the summer of quilts, I caved and actually bought Halloween costumes this year for the first time, and I'm craving a pecan pie like my life depended on it.

There is some crazy movement where people are posting every day - I won't promise you that, but I will promise it won't be a month before you hear from me again. Although I can't explain it, I miss you guys too.